he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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