Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Randomize
