Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
