If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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