i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
