exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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