for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Randomize
