There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
