I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
