I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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