i permit you to call me
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
