You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
