In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
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