How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
