member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
