Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
