Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Boobs speak an international language.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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