You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I love having hate sex.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
organizing the empties. That sober.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
