508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
