who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize
