i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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