the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
