Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
