i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
