so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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