I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
