i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
