I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
