So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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