he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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