Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Randomize
