There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
