I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
