the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Hippo gnu deer
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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