So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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