I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
