I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
