i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Randomize
