Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
