i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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