trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Panties = found
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