I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
