he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
