She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
