he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
