Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
