You really coming over, don't trick.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
