so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
