You can't motorboat a personality
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
