But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
